The Quiet Power of Confidence (with science on your side)

katrincharlton
Nov 20, 2024
3 min read

Updated: 2 days ago

Where does true confidence come from?

Many people see it as something earned – a by-product of success, experience, or skill. But in my work as an executive coach, I’ve found something different. Real confidence runs deeper. It starts with alignment – with your values, your purpose, and what truly matters to you.

I work with many leaders who, on paper, have it all – success, respect, influence. Yet they often feel uncertain or disconnected. Why? Because their daily actions no longer reflect what they believe in. They’re moving, but not always in the right direction.

Authentic confidence isn’t about ticking boxes or looking the part. It begins with clarity about who you are and what you stand for – and living from that place.

Research backs this up. Brené Brown’s work on courage and vulnerability, along with findings from positive psychology and neuroscience, consistently show that confidence is built from the inside out – grounded in self-awareness and values alignment.

3 Ways to Build Lasting Confidence

1. Self-Trust: Your Inner Superpower 🧠

Every time you make a choice aligned with your values and purpose, you build self-trust. It’s like strengthening a muscle. The more you act in line with what matters to you, the more you trust yourself – and the less you need outside approval.

📌 Tip: Pay attention to the small daily moments where you act in alignment. They build quiet confidence from the inside out.

2. Clarity: Your Built-In Compass 🔍

When you're clear on your values and purpose, making decisions becomes easier. Neuroscience shows that value-aligned actions get “tagged” by the brain as important, boosting focus and follow-through.

📌 Tip: Name your top 3–5 values and reflect on your bigger purpose. Use both as your compass to cut through the noise.

3. Resilience: Your Anchor in Stormy Seas 💪

When life gets messy, purpose and values keep you grounded. Research shows that people who live by them bounce back faster and manage stress better.

📌 Tip: In moments of pressure, ask: “What matters most right now?” and “How can I act in line with that?”

The Science Behind the Feeling

When you act in line with your values and purpose, your brain’s reward system lights up – releasing dopamine. This strengthens motivation and resilience. You feel more focused, energised, and confident – not just in the moment, but over time.

My Own Shift

For years, I believed confidence came from achievement – from proving myself, reaching goals, ticking off milestones. But the more I chased external success, the more I felt like I was running on a treadmill – busy, but not fulfilled.

The real shift came when I paused and got clear on my values and purpose. And a deeper mission: helping others grow through meaningful transitions.

When I started living from this place – whether it meant speaking up, saying no, taking a leap, or slowing down – I noticed a new kind of confidence. One that wasn’t loud or performative. One that didn’t need applause. Just quiet clarity. It felt steady. Real. Mine. That’s the confidence I like to help my clients build today.

Why "Fake It Till You Make It" Is Outdated

You’ve probably heard the phrase. It once passed for advice. But research increasingly shows that pretending to be confident can backfire – fuelling imposter feelings rather than easing them.

Real confidence is not about pretending. It’s about alignment – showing up rooted in who you are and what you believe in, even when no one’s watching.

Confidence That Lasts

Confidence isn’t about always knowing the answer. Or being the loudest in the room. It’s about integrity – living in sync with your values and purpose.

Bottom line? Living your values and purpose isn’t just feel-good advice. It’s a science-backed foundation for clarity, resilience, and confidence that genuinely lasts.

Reflection Questions

✨ What values do you want to anchor your confidence to?

✨ What purpose fuels you – and how often do you honour it?

✨ When have you felt most aligned – and most confident?

You might just uncover the key to a more grounded, resilient, and quietly unshakeable confidence.

Ready to Lead with Confidence?

If you're a leader navigating change – internally or externally – and want to build a grounded, purpose-led confidence, I’d love to support you.

Confidence plays a vital role in every transition – whether you're stepping into a new role, re-evaluating direction, or simply want to reconnect with your inner clarity.

📩 Let’s talk: https://calendly.com/katrin-kbccoaching/30min